


Breathe

by IgnisAlis



Category: Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Chronic Pain, Gen, Medication, Pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IgnisAlis/pseuds/IgnisAlis
Summary: There are days when he can't think, when the pain is so bad that nothing can get past it.  All he can do is breathe.





	

There are days when he can't think, when the pain is so bad that nothing can get past it.  
All he can do is breathe, one breath, then another, then just one more.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
He can gauge his own heartbeat by the speed of the throbbing.  
It hurts too much to focus on anything, but lying down hurts even worse, shifting the pressure of the arc reactor. He tastes blood, and it's another two breaths before he realizes he's bitten his lip.  
He would give almost anything to make it stop, and he thinks about his breathing again, because if he focuses on the fact that this thing will be in his chest forever...  
  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
He finally manages to find an angle, propped against a pillow, that offers a fraction less pain. He knows it will cause a sore back tomorrow, but it's worth it. Anything is worth less pain.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
Slower, deeper, he reminds himself. Shallow breaths are instinctive, but he can beat instinct. Faster breaths mean higher blood pressure means more pain. He can beat gravity with a metal suit, he can beat instinct.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
He's thirsty, but just reaching for his mug will be excruciating. He puts it off, floating in the haze of pain. A little longer, and he can take another pill. It won't be enough, it never is, but it will take the edge off until the storm passes.  
Weather is hard to compensate for. Temperature fluctuations are bad, but he can guard against those; insulating fabric, plus heating or cooling vests, and he's mostly okay. But pressure fluctuations are worse. There's nothing to do but wait out the pain.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
JARVIS chimes softly, reminding him to take a pill. He stares at his nightstand, bracing himself for the effort. It's such a small thing, but it feels like trying to climb Everest.  
He extends an arm, sliding it along the bed as long as possible. The pain twists, turning sharper, and he freezes, scarcely daring to inhale before it ebbs back into the throbbing. The pop lid of the cap is more challenging than he would ever admit. But for all his strength, it takes him several agonizing minutes to grab the bottle, pop the lid, shakily withdraw one pill. He gives up before replacing the cap, just setting the bottle down. It will be fine. Maybe he should invent a pill dispenser.  
He pulls his arm back, wincing again at the sharpening pain. He dry swallows the pill, but is thirsty enough to try for his water.  
The cup is soft silicone, as light as he could find, and it sits under a small sensor, so that JARVIS could refill it. He lifts it, braced for the pain before it hits. His jaw aches from clenching, and he tries to relax it before lifting the mug to his lips.  
The water is perfect, cool and sweet. But he's let himself get too thirsty, and drinks too eagerly. He chokes a little on the last sip.  
Fuck.  
He coughs, and the pain is sharp and blinding, whiting out his brain. Each cough stabs through his chest. He curls in on himself, trying not to sob.  
He's not sure what happened to the cup. He probably dropped it, but that's why it's silicone.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
Breathe.  
  
The coughing has left him exhausted. He lets his eyes close. He probably won't be able to sleep, too much pain, but even a little rest is good. And hey, maybe the meds will take the edge off so he can sleep.  
Not likely, but he can hope.  
Breathe.  
  
Breathe.  



End file.
